when there is nothing you can do…

So, I had got tickets for my whole family to attend the hockey game tonight. Apparently, my dad had another fit on the way to my place. My mom was exhausted with it.

He is slowly losing his memory and its been happening alot faster lately. He no longer can talk as he can’t get the words out or even form them at all. And now…my mom was telling me he is  becoming more explosive lately. By that she means if she even tries to correct him about something or anything like that, he explodes and will storm off, out of the house at any time of the night or, this latest incident, he tried to jump out of the moving car that she was driving!

I am not surprised to hear this. He has always had such a horrid temper and I saw alot of it growing up. I used to piss off both my parents with my mouth and snippy comments to them. Yeah I was bad but he used to explode at me alot.

I remember the last big blow out we had was a few years ago and it was because I said I was moving out. He  pushed me against a wall, in front of my kid, yelling in my face. All because I said I was moving out of their house, at the age of 32.

He has always been a hard worker and just retired with 37 years in his company but…it didn’t end without turmoil.

And now…he’s exhausting my  mother and I try to support her as I can but I find even that hard because, well her and I never have and never will see eye to eye. Her constant put downs and negativity towards me in the 36 years I’ve been her daughter has caused me to  detach from her so much…..I have to muster the strength from somewhere to sympathize with her.

Our family is reaching the end of it all though…I really feel it looming.


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