For two years of my life, (dubbed the “Crazy College Years”) I was at a private university called Ambassador University in Big Sandy, Texas. It was owned and operated by the church I was affiliated with Worldwide Church of God (for more on that church view my entry here). It was my first time away from the parental units and my mother’s grasp.
I could narrow this whole entry of these two years of my life to three words:
I drank and drank and then drank some more. There were a lot of “locals” around there. Meaning people who lived in the city with a population of about 1000 who would party with us, those from the college. We would all gather in the middle of the woods or go by Big Sandy Lake and burn big bon fires. I would smell like burnt wood when I woke up from those parties. We would take our empty beer bottles and throw them at the passing trains just to hear the glass shatter.
I lost my virginity during that time to a local who was also still a part of the church, in a tent during a windy night. It was not the best of memories but it is what it is.
I started smoking cigarettes which to this day ruined my singing voice. Operatic was my specialty and I have to strain a vocal cord to be able to do that now. In all honesty, that may not be because of my past smoking history but because I haven’t exercised the vocal cords at all.
I did beg my parents for a car during my 1st year and got it. A tiny little Honda CRX. I remember, at one point, I was the only driver and me, my boyfriend at the time and like 5 of his buddies squeezed into that CRX. If you don’t know the size of a CRX, it’s a small two-seater.
I was the shit because I had a car. I had tons of friends. I had an enormous crush on a lovely white boy. This was after the boyfriend and I broke up because he was cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend.
I remember parties in empty houses where when I would walk in everyone would yell my name and drinks would flow aplenty. I barely remember a lot of it through a smokey haze but I do remember some. Lots of doing pot and dancing and drinking. But its all just flashes and images now.
After the first year, a lot of people went their separate ways, the boy I was I had the crush on almost died from Meningitis (if you read the article, scroll down to the second story, that is him), I returned to a lot of loneliness. I did end up meeting one friend, I have no idea of her whereabouts now, and we bonded fast. I also met a local who was not a part of the church the school was affiliated with. We hit it off pretty good. So good, that somewhere down this short relationship line, we got engaged.
It was a joke and I knew it. I was miles from my family, they didn’t even know. I was having unprotected sex (thank GOD I didn’t get pregnant) and I knew when I told my parents they would flip. I just figured I would stay in back woods Texas (uh..I’m a city girl born and raised in the Los Angeles area) and have this cowboys’ 5 children.
Well, I did go home and luckily, it all sorted itself out and there was no wedding. I did not stay in Texas. It wasn’t for me. But I had to learn the hard way. I was really naive.
As I look back a few things stick in my mind. One in particular is, drinking, of course. But the other is rollerblading.
There were many times during this two years in Texas that I had nowhere to go. I was stuck in the dorms. I do remember I used to sit at the window sill of my dorm hall, looking out, waiting for someone to try up and invite me somewhere, anywhere. It was sad, but true.
Most of the time, no one would come. So I would put on my roller blades, plug ABBA into my ears and jut blade back and forth on the side walk. I can still remember the feeling of doing it as I was never good at ice or roller skating. I liked going fast down the hill.
When I finally returned to California. I knew that chapter in my life was done and I had to move one. That was when I started City College full time while working two retail jobs.
I learned alot being out there. Anything related to college, was not part of anything I learned.