Ok let me step back and breathe…..Better…I’m going to try and do this without spewing to much venom onto the screen.
I check all Freshly Pressed blogs on a daily basis. Even if some don’t interest me, I still skim through it.
One that was put up there today really was just ridiculous.
I’m not going to link it because I don’t want it to ping back to my blog and then have all those “Christians” rampaging my blog so that I would have to shut it down and move out. Although, I’m sure they will find this anyway and it may come to that, but I’ll stand my ground.
I will say that some so called Christians really are so blind. I would like to put out there that I am a Christian. However, I try NOT to be a hypocrite nor do I try to be judgemental.
This Freshly Pressed post was about marriage. It was written by a husband who was celebrating his 2nd anniversary (congrats to him and his wife…and I really mean that). He then proceeded to say that he felt that he was not the “right” person for his wife but only because there is not an exact right person for anyone. There are no “soul mates” and there is no perfect person for you.
I don’t know, maybe I just wasn’t understanding the point he was trying to make or I wasn’t getting his satire of the perfect person. What I did get was that if a couple does not include God in their relationship, they are sinners and doomed for failure.
I do agree that the introduction of God, in and of Himself and not connected to hypocritical Christians or a bogus religion, is always a positive thing to have in a family. Faith and hope can be a strong thing.
However, the thing that boiled my blood were the comments that followed this person’s post from Christians.
I have been divorced for 9 years. My ex husband was an alcoholic, a drug user, and a cold, heartless person who turned his back on his son. In the comments to this post that was Freshly Pressed, there was one women who commented about her horrific marriage to a man who yelled at her, beat her, and almost killed her, in front of their son. The replies to this poor woman’s story was enraging.
“God can truly fix anything but all you can do is work on you, you can’t “fix ” him (her abusive husband). You can pray for him, though and in the meantime look for the reasons you submitted yourself to such a relationship.”
Oh REALLY? So this person is saying this poor woman should just pray for him (ok, that I accept because prayer can be powerful) but THEN blame herself because this man BEAT her! She should “look for the reasons” SHE submitted herself to this abuser.
Maybe I’m reading into it wrong but I understood that to mean, “what the heck did YOU do to deserve the abuse?” or “where did you go wrong in choosing this man?” Right, just like the girl who was wearing the short skirt was asking to get raped.
I actually would be delighted to find out that I’m interpreting that wrong because the amount of arrogance and insensitivity in that statement seems unreal!
Yet, I wouldn’t be surprised if I wasn’t wrong because this kind of talk is not uncommon amongst people who say “God will fix everything.” I don’t deny that God can be very powerful. However, I also believe that one will NOT go to hell if they leave their marriage because of abuse and/or cheating. And by abuse, I mean ANY kind, verbal, mental and physical.
I am SO sick and tired of the whole “God hates divorce” poop that falls from these people’s mouths. How about they walk in the shoes of an abused spouse for just one day and see what God hates most. It would be more like “God hates abuse“.
And no where in the bible does it say indefinitely “God hates divorce”.
Malachi 2:16 – “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.”
A new version of it was translated as “God hates divorce”
Anyway, I’m not a theologian. I just have a opinion.
But it gets better…
Another commenter asked the logical question below:
“where’s the place for deal breakers then? How do we balance forgiving and reconciliation with that?”
This is a VERY good question because from the point of view of all these Christian commenters, there is no deal breaker for a divorce (even an abuser).
This was an answer to her question from another commenter:
“If you married the person, there are no deal breakers. If there is infidelity or abuse, separation is key. That said, educating yourself is very important beforehand and if there is unhealthy behavior, be wise in how you handle it, and avoid running for the door when things get uncomfortable.“
Ah ok, so…then what is being said here is, if one marries a person who portrayed themselves to be good and right and loyal, then changes for whatever reason (it happens more than you know) then because you chose to marry them, even though you were deceived and lied to, the only option you have is to separate, but not divorce yourself from this person regardless of whatever substance they are abusing or how many times they beat you to an inch of your life. And then, you should just blame yourself anyway because you didn’t “educate” yourself enough before you married this person.
Oh and of course, there is no need to “run for the door” when things get “uncomfortable” (yeah, because getting pounded every day by some drunk lunatic animal can be really uncomfortable. Just stop whining…) *sigh*
Maybe I’m reaching a bit far for this one and not understanding the commenters technicalities. Maybe this commenter sees separation as a type of divorce…ah but wait, I don’t think so because “God hates Divorce” right?
I have a feeling the owner of the blog and the poster of this entry I’m referring to didn’t mean harm. From skimming through his blog a bit, he seems happy in his marriage and probably wants to share what is working in his marriage. For that, I really commend him. I may have just let this particular subject and these commenters hit a nerve with me because of how many times I’ve been told it’s my fault that a) I’m alone because b) I got divorced because c) I chose unwisely.
But, some of the commenters that have come out on these posts are all absolutely and outrageously close minded to what God really hates. And being that they are NOT God nor ever will be, it is so absolutely arrogant to think they know what the almighty God hates.
You know, I did not go through physical abuse in my marriage but I am still so VERY glad I left that marriage. I lost my laugh and my jovial nature the minute I married that man. He killed my spirit and I’ve been trying to find it ever since.
That being said, I would never assume to know what these women go through when they are in a physically abusive relationship. I could never imagine being told to stay with someone who is trying to kill me by “Christians” who say “God hates divorce”.
Really? God hates divorce? I wonder how much God hates a judgmental hypocrite.
Hmmm…let’s make it a point to ask God that very question when we finally get to see Him.
Although, that poor women who the “Christian” told to stay with her abusive husband because God hates divorce may be able to meet God before anyone else because…surprise surprise…….her abuser husband finally killed her.
Yeah, God hates divorce.