There is yet another pheonomenon that I find interesting. It is that of my mother in regards to my weight loss. Honestly, sometimes, her ways of thinking and her priority system really does amuse me to the extent that I giggle.
At this family lunch that I mentioned in my last “Weigh In” post, I was probably the only one not over eating and obese (aside from my father who is losing weight due to health). I would say my cousin’s daughter who is 19 was the only one dressed cute in a sun dress and looking like she weighed about 100 (she’s super cute).
However, no one noticed my weight loss enough to mention it and I would think 43 lbs is enough for someone to notice! Or if they did notice, they didn’t mention it. I wasn’t about to announce it because I did not want to make my over weight, over eating family feel bad.
I didn’t have to because it was my mother who suddenly felt the urge to mention “oh by the way, she’s lost weight…hey tell them how much.”
*sigh* This was not pride that prompted her to mention it…it was boasting. Never before had I ever enjoyed the pride of being given a “hey look at MY daughter” announcement by her at a family function ever. Usually it’s “just stay in the corner and pretend you don’t belong to me” kind of vibe I get from her. Then again, I could be being dramatic in thinking this but it is what I feel. I can’t deny that.
Suddenly, I work DAMN hard to lose weight and it’s her win?! It’s her win because NOW she gets to show me off. Oh sure, she may claimed that before when she was telling me how fat I was that she was saying it only because she doesn’t want me to have diabetes. But now that the weight loss is happening, I didn’t hear “hey everyone, my daughter has lost 43 lbs and now she won’t have diabetes!“. Nope, it was more like “hey everyone look at MY daughter. Now she looks decent enough for me to announce that she is MY daughter“.
Again, I may be reading into it and being dramatic but I can’t help but come up with this conclusion. Really…I laugh at this scenario yet, I feel sad for her because I feel like sometimes, she’s living her life through her daughters because she feels her life is over. Honestly, I just don’t know WHAT to make of her sometimes. She is so bi-polar I have to prepare myself when I know I MUST see her to be ready for whatever end of the spectrum her mood will be in. It is truly exhausting.
So, even though she will still always say I’M her “difficult daughter“….no one can tell her I’m the one eating 7+ pieces of pizza in one sitting…that is for dang sure!