I know, bad title especially for those who do deal with drinking problems, but I really have to admit…these past few days I’ve just wanted to drink my existence into oblivion.
I’m so emotionally drained. The cat threw up on Saturday but the reason why is unknown to me. He may have eaten to fast or something. He hasn’t thrown up again and is seeming to be doing fine. He is VERY clingy to me now though. Now, he only eats his dinner IN my lap, nowhere else. I would feed him all meals in my lap if it would get him to eat and gain weight but I have to work and can’t. So, only his dinners are in my lap, on the couch. I will now have to work my evening schedule around lap feeding my cat. What’s funny is if you knew this cat’s personality, being clingy and cuddly is NOT what this cat is about so the constant “I MUST be sitting right on your lap” attitude he’s adopted is new for me. I like it, but then realize, it’s just another whiny, clingy living creature I have to contend with.
I also have to give him medications, twice a day. Antacids, for the upset tummy and Antibiotics for the mouth infection. Apparently, there is no easy way to give a cat medications through a syringe or dropper. He fights me every time and sometimes, sprays the medication all over the place and me because he shakes his head. This morning, I made the mistake of getting fully dressed for work BEFORE giving him his meds. Let’s just say I had to change just before walking out the door.
The total cost for this whole ordeal, after 3 nights of hospitalization, the initial first visit and the two meds and special food: $916.00 I have no words….
Anyway, the other clingy, whiny creature I contend with is The Boy. I swear, I love that kid to death but he seriously needs to just grow a pair. Harsh, I know, but he whines and complains at every little scratch or bump. He hit his head while playing soccer at school and got a sore in his mouth, where the ball hit him. Now it’s whining and moaning every time he eats because it stings the sore. I say suck it up kid! You want to play ice hockey? You gotta learn to suck it up! Are you bleeding? No. Anything broken? No. Then suck it up!
I’m mean, I know but hell! I used to play volleyball with dislocated fingers and busted knees! My coach would say “wrap that up and let’s go! You’re our best setter!”
The Boy needs to suck it up….
On top of that, I had another riling verbal go at it with my mother and sister after church on Sunday.
My sister…I laugh at her sometimes. Not because I’m making fun of her but because she is trying to hold onto the last dying hope that our mother will actually stop trying to control our lives and not have “selective amnesia” when it comes to things we say. I’ve told my mother I do NOT like when The Boy interrupts our adult conversations just so he can get a game on her iPad or to get her to turn her mobile WiFi on. He knows to NEVER do that with me nor when my sister and I our talking. Yet, when my mother is there…he turns into a disrespectful little bugger. It’s because she allows it.
So, apparently, my mother doesn’t remember the 50 times I’ve told her that I will not allow disrespectful interrupting from The Boy, even though my sister backed up pretty much each time I’ve told her, as she has heard me say it to our mother, multiple times. Nope, I get a “You have NEVER told me that” from my mother.
Our mother is also pissed we aren’t going to a baby shower of a cousin we never see nor hardly even know. The only reason this cousin haphazardly invited us, through our mother, is so she can get more gifts. It’s so blatantly obvious. Our mother wants us to go and why does she? Well, I would assume it would be to “show us off” per say. Especially me, who has lost all kinds of weight. Now, apparently, I look good enough for her to brag about it. With my mother, it’s all about how we look to others. So sad really.
So, my sister calls me yesterday evening, after that harrowing conversation we all had saying “why do I need to go somewhere because SHE wants me to”? I simply tell her “Uh…sweetie…you don’t. You are 30 years old. You can do whatever the hell you want. I’ve been telling you this for years now”. She knows that she needs to let go of trying to please our mother, as I have done many years ago. She also needs to come to terms that our mother will always hand out the guilt trips when she doesn’t get her way and my sister needs to learn to just push away. Being close to our mother is something my sister has always reveled in, compared to me, who has always tried to steer clear from getting to attached to her. But I’ve told her, there is a REASON I keep my distance. She may just have to learn the hard way.
She’ll soon see the whole picture for what it really is and understand why I deal with our mother as little as possible.
And with all this stress, I didn’t realize that I was ripping my fingers to absolute shreds. My cuticles, every single one of them, are not now doused in antibiotic ointment and have a bandaid wrapped around them. It got so bad that I couldn’t feel the tips of my fingers anymore. I really need to get a hold of this disease.