*sigh* This past Tuesday was probably the worse “binge” day I’ve had since starting this journey back in May. Not only did I have way to much chocolate cake at work but I ate the In N Out fries my kid didn’t eat that night AND finished his strawberry shake. And I didn’t work out that evening because that is the evening that I take The Boy to hockey lessons.
The next day, I felt like a weighed down beached whale. I have to keep reminding myself I am no where NEAR the maintenance point yet, where I can binge every once in a while like that. I still have a good 50 more lbs to drop.
What happened Tuesday, must never happen again.
Anyway, what were today’s results??
Nothing this week 😦
Total: 55 lbs lost as of May 4, 2013!
Once again, I have lost nothing. So, I believe that I’m officially at a plateau. Today, I lost nothing. Last week, I lost 2 and the week before, I lost nothing.
And I feel that I have so much further to go. I know that I’ve come so far but sometimes it seems that the end of this road is getting further and further away with each step of progression I achieve. It’s such a weird psychological phenomenon.
I need to purchase another 10 weeks at the medical clinic but I may have to put that on hold as I need to find the money from somewhere. I do want to keep getting the Vitamin injections. I’m not one to be disciplined enough to take vitamins every day so getting the injections weekly is good for me. I will have to see what I can do or how I can budget it since now, I owe my step-grandmother about $900 on her Care Credit card that paid for my cat’s hospitalization and meds.
One thing that I haven’t put up in a while is BMI
BMI at starting weight:
BMI at current weight:
I am amazed that I’m STILL in the “Obese” section. I guess a size 10 is considered obese now?!
But that is what I’m talking about when I say this just seems like a VERY long road. What weighs heavy on my mind is that I absolutely CAN NOT go back to being fat. There is WAY to much at risk. And in all honesty, I made it that way with this blog, with kind of bragging to others about a significant weight loss. I gain that all back and I’m just a loser. I know, I’m not really, it’s just what my inner brain tells me. So in a way, it’s GOOD that I’ve put myself in this place. It holds me accountable and that is what is keeping my progression going.
More importantly, The Boy deserves a healthier mom. I can’t let that kid down.
I must keep losing and stay on track. There is more at stake here than just looks. I need to figure out how to get out of this stagnant place. I am literally 1 lb away from exiting another number milestone. I might change up my exercise? Or maybe just not binge on In N Out fries and Strawberry shakes…yeah THAT may be the answer! Sheesh!