I just want a few hours in church, listening to His word, drama free of family crud.
I will admit that I was a bit perturbed that I couldn’t even start my time in church without my mother telling me that I should leave her alone and not be concerned for her and her struggles. This stemmed from her sharing with my sister and I even more news on how her step mother is not only disrespecting her but now my father. NOW….that crosses many lines because regardless if my father is developing Alzheimer’s he deserves every ounce of respect from all in his house that his hard work created.
So, she doesn’t want us to say our opinon or be conernced……fine….it is done.
A new friend recently told me I must surround myself with positive, faithful people. My sister is super positive and tries to share it. My sister is a woman of faith and loves God. My mother, she lets so many people walk all over her and then complains that she carries their burdens. She is so hard to love sometimes, even though I do. Her life experiences have burdened her tremendously, however, I don’t feel that I should carry that burden she makes us carry with her, anymore and she refuses to give it up to God. It’s almost like she WANTS to carry all these burdens because its easier to make others feel more sorry for her.
I’m trying to close some negative chapters in my life. It may be time to abide by her request to just “leave me alone”, even if that includes breaking the interactions.
I need to build my faith in GOD more and no longer rely on my family to lift me up. My mother can’t give to me what God does. God has come through for me so much, sometimes I miss when He does because I’m so wrapped up in dealing with this family drama.
No more….I am throwing all I can into building my Faith in God, teaching my son to build his faith in God, and surrounding myself with believers, which will strengethen my already weakened soul.
I love my mother, I love my father, but I can do nothing for them, anymore. I can only pray for them, and walk away.