Apparently someone is laughing at me.
Maybe one of my multiple personalities is laughing at me.
All I know is that I was destined to be someones laughing stock. I can’t help but think, it’s God.
I am sad today. I had to make the decision to not pursue a friendship with someone new. My lot in life is to deal with my family, until death. And I refuse to drag good people who deserve better, down with me. I only encourage my son to run and run fast when he becomes of age…..run and RUN FAST!
I am sad.
So I work out. I exercise and lift lots of weights. I have no more hope or joy anymore but to keep losing weight. It’s all I have control of. Unless God decides to mess with that to, the one thing I still have control of in my life.
Yes, that is a machine I use and yes, that is 70 lbs of weights. I’m lifting as much weight as I’ve lost. That is truly interesting.
We can’t choose our family, of course but I will never understand why God thought I could handle mine. Some days I want to rip throats out.
And I will never understand why God thinks I’ll develop a stonger walk in His path when the family He’s given me chases away any person I associate myself with.
Shit….now I’m getting fucking MAD!
Can I just get drunk now? K, thanks!