“Laugh it up, Fuzzball…”

Apparently someone is laughing at me.

Maybe one of my multiple personalities is laughing at me.

All I know is that I was destined to be someones laughing stock.  I can’t help but think, it’s God.

I am sad today. I had to make the decision to not pursue a friendship with someone new.  My lot in life is to deal with my family, until death.  And I refuse to drag good people who deserve better, down with me.  I only encourage my son to run and run fast when he becomes of age…..run and RUN FAST!

I am sad.

So I work out.  I exercise and lift lots of weights.  I have no more hope or joy anymore but to keep losing weight.  It’s all I have control of.  Unless God decides to mess with that to, the one thing I still have control of in my life.

image

Yes, that is a machine I use and yes, that is 70 lbs of weights.  I’m lifting as much weight as I’ve lost.  That is truly interesting.

We can’t choose our family, of course but I will never understand why God thought I could handle mine.  Some days I want to rip throats out.

And I will never understand why God thinks I’ll develop a stonger walk in His path when the family He’s given me chases away any person I associate myself with.

Shit….now I’m getting fucking MAD!

Can I just get drunk now? K, thanks!

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3 thoughts on ““Laugh it up, Fuzzball…”

    • Thanks. I’m actually doing a ton better today….I’m beginning to find solutions in my brain to move past others manipulations and mood swings to not let it affect me. I’m trying.

  1. Pingback: Time is a cruel thing | Is the Coffee ready yet?!

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