And from what I’ve learned in the 38 years I’ve been on this planet, those feelings will probably change within the next few moments. But for now, let’s revel in them.
I’m back in the proverbial saddle. Or trying to be anyway. I have brushed up my looks again, I’ve got makeup on my eyes (well eyeliner and mascara anyway) and I’m back into the clothes I feel good in. I’m trying…yet again.
And what has the cycle been? Why the fire in my belly to try to look half way beautiful…..? I think we can all assume why and the elimination of LONLINESS is the key.
Humans crave other humans. Whether it be to hate another human, to love another human, or just to appreciate the way another human looks. I would like to say that my sole reason for existing on this planet (hardy har har, God, very funny….) is to fall into all of these categories as there is always a thin line between love and hate for me.
I have just made a bold move, not only moments before typing this, that gave me a gushing wave of confidence that I haven’t felt in YEARS. And the smile that resulted in my bold offer (of a phone number) just about sent me over the edge.
Yes, I need that much acceptance, deal with it.
I’m just done with that and I’m taking my camera and photographing all that I can (because hey, I’m actually good at that photography shit).
Until then…I’ll wait for the rejection, which always surely tends to come.