It has been a year since my visit to Painville. I still have horrible memories and even nightmares of the pain. I have heard of people with chronic pain of some kind but I do not think that I am one of those poeple who can do chronic pain without losing my mind completely.
Then, of course there was the Glitch in the weight loss Matrix. Apparently, eating and what I put in my mouth at any given moment will be a constant trial for me. I have to become borderline obsessed with eating for every waking minute, hour and day of my life. I realized that I will live the rest of my life in an up and down rollercoaster regarding my weight. As of now, I’m in a slight valley with weight. But I was riding high on a mountain a few weeks ago and I’ll get it back. Since I can’t do strenous exercise anymore due to my back, I am stuck with only power walking as cardio exercise. I carry weights during my walking but that is all..I’m afraid to do to much because of my weight. Hence, I need to eat practically nothing to balance out my slow metabolism with the fact Im not doing strenuous cardio. I will always hate it.
There is, of course, so much more to write. But I’m actually really lazy and have to think my words out very carefully so as not to sound to bitter, harsh or just plain bitchy about many aspects of my life and the people in them.
So more to come.