Today is my birthday but really, I could care less. Later today, I will be forced to stand in front of a cake while my co-workers sing Happy Birthday. I want to do what I have done at all my other jobs and that is completely skip this day, as far as cake and singing goes. But these people won’t allow that. I’m not mad really. I just wished this day would go by without recognition. For the most part it does. I don’t have my birthday set on my Facebook so I don’t get those millions of “happy birthday from the person who you don’t even know in real life!” on my Facebook feed.
The truth is, I’ve never acknowledged this day since about 15 years ago because my whole life I’ve never been acknowledged or noticed by anyone anyway. As of lately, I can’t even have a conversation with my mother and/or sister not just because I really only tolerate them and their constant negativity but because they really don’t allow others to speak in the conversation. It’s nothing but talking over everyone else and interrupting. It becomes a narcissistic type of conversation where what THEY have to say is the only thing that matters. It is actually quite rude and I’m sick of it. So I sit there and just listen with tons to say but no way to jump in fast enough to say it.
And don’t think that just because my birthday is the same month as Christmas I get double the gifts. That has never happened for the following reasons:
- I grew up in a cult that didn’t even celebrate Christmas and;
- When I was finally out of the cult and celebrated Christmas it was believed that a birthday gift AND a Christmas gift could be combined. Hence, I get 1 gift for the price of two occasions…..
Yeah…a combination of cheap family and never getting noticed anyway. So who really cares if I’m one year closer to my death.
I’m 40 by the way…just more lemon juice in the gaping hole that is my soul.