I would like to press the “restart” button on this day.
I left my candle lit last night, out on my balcony. I guess this attracts insects of the worse kind when they are rogue and lost and alone in the cold.
It welcomed a one inch Yellow Jacket onto my balcony back door. So, when I went out this morning to blow out the candle, unbeknownst to me, it flew in through the open door behind me. I did not see it until about 10 minutes later when I saw this HUGE thing with legs on my wall. As I inched closer, thinking it was one of the gargantuan flies that live in this state, I noticed the yellow stripes and antenna.
There it was. A Yellow Jacket. I backed away slowly, about to run, then realizing, uh this bastard was in MY house…I don’t run! This does not imply that I wasn’t scared out of my wits.
I announced to The Boy there was a Yellow Jacket in my room and to keep the cat out because the dumb cat would get in my way of killing it thinking it was a play toy and get himself stung! And that is all I would need! A wounded cat and a crying kid. The Boy closed his door and refused to come out until I could present the Death Certificate of this monster.
*Sigh* I resigned to being late to work..
So I stopped my morning routine and attempted to kill this beast. I grabbed the big 3 inch thick Bible I found at an Estate Sale and was determined to show this thing the Word of God.
With my Bible in hand, it took me 10 minutes just to approach it and it kept moving around my room and landing in awkward places. But finally I hit it!!!
The insect fell as did the 3 inch Bible I hit it with and both landed behind my nightstand! So, I spent another 20 minutes dissecting the area but did find it, dead and lifeless, directly below where I hit it. It matched the carpet to perfection which made it hard to see.
So, it was dead and I was able to confirm to The Boy, said death, with a corpse and documentation.
I wasn’t about to pick it up with a tissue like it was a fly. It had a stinger and could still have been playing dead. Instead, I grabbed the vacuum and sucked that bastard up.
Crunch….crunch….crunch, it went and was gone. Now, I was about 30 minutes late into starting my day but I didn’t care. There was no way I was going to leave a Yellow Jacket, dead or alive, in my house. It must die and die it did.
But he really must have been lost because there are no insects of that kind roaming around this time of year when it’s really cold. He was doomed to die.